Oops, They Did It Again

Tonight, showing that we don’t learn from our mistakes, the Orioles are starting Ubaldo Jimenez. Because… reasons. Here’s hoping that he doesn’t have too many “oops” moments.

Praying that Orioles’ pitching won’t implode is a time-honored tradition – even during the winning years. I’m not talking about the Daniel Cabreras and Hayden Penns of the world. No, I’m talking about hoping that Tommy didn’t go boom, or wondering when The Pretender turned back into Jim Johnson. Rocky pitching performances are nothing new, but the 2016 team has tried hard to make them new and exciting.

Buckle Up, O’s fans… this could get bumpy.

I think I did it again.

I made you believe that a starter could win.

Oh baby

I will probably get crushed

But fans will still blame Wallace and Buck

Cause to lose all my decisions

That is just to typically me

Oh baby, baby

 

Oops I did it again

I gave up a dong, and I lost the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops you think I can pitch

I won’t implode

I’m not that competent

 

You see the problem is this:

I belong in triple A

Wishing that I did not issue those hits

I cry watching the film

 

Can’t you see I’m a tool in so many ways

But to lose despite a big lead

That is just so typically me

 

Oops I did it again

I walked in a run, and I lost the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops I have no command

The game’s over in the first

I’m not that competent

 

[Middle Eight]

 

Oops I torched the bullpen again

And I lost this game, oh baby

Oops, you think that this time

There’s no way that I could be worse

I’m not that competent

 

Oops, I did it again

Couldn’t get through the fourth, and I lost the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops, we needed a stopper

Someone who could just be decent

I’m not that competent

 

Oops, I did it again

The lineup battled right back, but I gave it away

Oh baby, baby

Oops, no trade can fix this

Our farm system is in shambles

And I’m not that competent