Gotta Catch ‘Em All: Pokemon Orioles Mash-up

On July 7th, countless adults were transported into a new world where wild creatures live among us.  These creatures have the evident desire to be captured into tiny red and silver balls and placed into combat with other creatures that are trained by others in the world.

Pokemon had returned to mass culture via Pokemon Go, the new interactive game allows you to interact through GPS on your mobile phone to capture them.  The game has a major push to have the user need to be moving to engage and find new creatures.  Think of it as a Fitbit tied together with a Video Game.

Anywho….how does this have to do with baseball?

As I wandered around the world searching for an elusive Snorlax, I thought to myself on which Pokemon best represents specific Orioles.  Sometimes task are to great to take on in Pokemon by oneself so I recruited the assistance of fellow Pokemon trainer, Charlie Hoppes, to assist in this venture.

Here are our thoughts on which Pokemon best represents some of your favorite (…and hated) Orioles.

Mike Wright/Tyler Wilson – DoDuo

Doduo is a two-headed, bird-like Pokémon.  This creature has identical brains and has a shared telepathic connection between both heads that allow it to survive.  In addition, the creature does not fly well, but can run away quickly similar to an Ostrich.

Wright and Wilson also share a telepathic connection.  They are excellent friends coming up through the minors together.  They both started the season with the Orioles as a a feel-good story coming out of Spring Training.  However like Doduo, when predators approached these two quickly ran away.  They can often be found now together in Norfolk with the occasional trip north into Baltimore.

Jonathan Schoop – Charmander

When Ash first gets his, Charmander is kinda the best. It’s fiercely loyal, and is best buddies with the star of the team, Pikachu. The two young Pokemon form the core of Ash’s fighting force. Now I’m not saying Manny is Ash’s Pikachu necessarily, but Schoop is totally is his Charmander.

Not only is he lovable and precocious, he also has the potential to evolve into a legend. I look forward to a postseason series in the future where a fire-breathing Jonathan Schoop cruises for a game or two, then goes full Charizard and cooks the rival pitching staff and pushes us through to the next round easily.

Mark Trumbo – Machamp

Machamp is a fighting type Pokemon and one of the strongest in all of the world.  With a single arm, he can move mountains.  However, it has poor dexterity, and cannot handle delicate work without its arms becoming tangled.  In addition, Machamp can only be acquired through evolution after being traded from his former owner.

Trumbo obviously is a very strong man.  As the major league leader in home runs, he has shown he has an immense power to cause damage.  While Trumbo has shown some decent arm strength in the outfield, he has also shown some poor dexterity and footwork leading to a below average defense.  However, Trumbo has still evolved since being traded from the Seattle Mariners this past offseason.

Buck Showalter – Alakazam

This one is a gimme–Alakazam has an IQ over 5,000, and Buck has the Orioles in first place despite 41 starts from Mike Wright, Ubaldo Jimenez and Tyler Wilson, so it’s a toss up as to who is smarter. And just like Alakazam can make opponents miss with psychic abilities, Buck seems to know just what levers to pull to get the very most out of an already-excellent bullpen. If only we could get a sampling of an Alakazam press conference…

Ubaldo Jimenez – Psyduck

Psyduck resembles a platypus.  His vacant stare pierces back at you almost asking you to slap him across the face.  Psyduck is constantly stunned by its headache and is unable to think very clearly. It usually stands immobile, trying to calm its headache. However, when its headache becomes too severe, it releases tension in the form of strong psychic powers.  Afterwards, Psyduck isn’t aware of this happening or how to control it.

Ubaldo Jimenez often has that some puzzled look on his face while on the mound.  We can never be sure what he’s thinking on the mound.  Maybe it’s about the fleeting talent that he once had that is no longer there.  Occasionally Jimenez will unleash a gem on the mound.  You would think he could glean something from this experience, but instead he returns to his confused state for future starts.

Ryan Flaherty – Ditt0

Ditto is an odd pokemon.  It rearranges its cell structure to transform itself into other shapes. However, if it tries to transform itself into something by relying on its memory, this Pokémon manages to get details wrong.

Ryan Flaherty tries to replicate others as a super utility infielder.  Generally, Flaherty does an excellent job with this transformation in the field.  However, he has to rely on his memory of how to bat.  This is where the transformation fails and why the real player is always better than the substitute.

Chris Davis – Ninetales

Ninetales is beautiful. Chris Davis is beautiful. Ninetales is vengeful. Chris Davis homered all over the faces of the Royals after that whole brawl with Manny. Ninetales can live a long time thanks to all those tails. Chris Davis can pitch scoreless relief sometimes if you’d like.

Hyun Soo Kim – Farfetch’d

Farfetch’d is always seen carrying a leek stalk or spring onion. It carries this sprig in its wings, and sometimes chooses to hold it in its beak or feet instead. Unable to live without its stick, Farfetch’d will defend the stalk with its life. Known uses for the stick include use as a weapon, nesting material, and emergency food source.

Hyun Soo Skim holds a particular claim to his stick at the plate.  His ability to twirl and flick the bat has allowed him to maintain his nickname as the “Hitting Machine”.  Folks have tried to take the bat out of his hand and send him to Norfolk.  However, Kim has defended his right to maintain the bat at the plate and demand more time in front of us.

Adam Jones – Arcanine

Taken straight from Bulbapedia. Tell me who this sounds like: “Arcanine is a fiercely brave and loyal Pokémon. It is capable of running 6,200 miles (10,000 kilometers) in 24 hours with a speed and grace reminiscent of flight. Arcanine has long been admired for its beauty and speed, and anyone who hears its bark will grovel before it. The source of its power is a flame blazing wildly inside its body. In the anime, it was shown that it stashes food in its mane.

Arcanine has the leadership, the smooth, the fire, the ceaseless motor, and the ability to #StayHungry. Can’t think of a better fit for Jonesy than this majestic champion of a Pokemon.

Which Pokemon do you best fits with an Orioles player? Let us know on Twitter with the #OriolesPokemon.

And remember….you gotta catch ’em all.